011

Nate is gone to Ashe/Watauga counties for the holiday and I am at his apartment keeping it warm for him. This is going to sound bad, but I was immediately overcome with loneliness the second I said goodbye to him. It was actually quite overwhelming. It hurts a little. He'll be gone until Saturday. My dad comes tomorrow to see me for Thanksgiving. Very short notice but I really need to make the best of it. I feel myself dredding it a little. It's been over two years now and the two of them still have not met. I guess it doesn't matter though, one day they'll meet. I want to keep Nate forever. I want him to always be mine.

010

So far October is proving to be fairly nice! Aside from the obvious continual money issues and gas prices sucked REALLY hard for a while there. It's coming down a little now, but still NC has some of the highest gas prices in the continental US and Raleigh is still the highest in the state. LAME.

Fair this weekend :]
Football game Thursday! It's my first State game ever!

I love all of my neighbors; Brian, Bobby, Andy Jeff, The Davids. Even if I don't see them ALL as often as most of them :]. It's so nice living with people you like and having great people upstairs and across the parking lot to hang out with!

Love my boyyyyfriend. <3 It's nice to know that someone wants to take care of you when you need it. Speaking of, Dede and Josh and NOT good. He blew up last night because she told him she was sending a care package to a friend of her's (a guy) who's mom was just diagnosed with cancer. Josh found out that the guy has been crushin on Dede (even though it's completely unrequited) and FLIPPED because in his opinion she shouldn't even be talking to anyone who likes her at ALL. It's so hypcritical in my opinion.

He kept in touch with Stephanie for EVER and still has pictures that she drew for them hanging in their BEDROOM. How much does that suck? But Dede has overlooked a lot because she wantes to be with him and I guess that's given him this In Charge Point of View.

I love both of them soooo much and I don't see Josh changing the way he is so I think they just need to part ways and eventually everything can all smooth over. Honestly though, as much as he says it, I know he doesn't want to be away from her. He's said the MEANEST things to her but I know he's just hurting inside. Dede doesn't deserve to be treated that way at all and Josh doesn't deserve to be so unhappy in life. I hate being so far from them so much.

:[

009

happy 2 years!!

008

So it wasn't strept! I had Acute Pharyngitis or something. Whatever. It's pretty much gone but still lingering and making it's presence known.

Sometimes I need a break from the life I'm in. Every single part of it.

Also, I spent my day yesterday taking Sykes back to my mom's house. Way huge bummer. A couple of my roommates weren't as excited about having him as they previously were which sucks because things were going so well at first and then.... well when you're gone 14+ hours a day and at first people offer to take him out and walk him and such, and then that STOPS well... yea.

So he's at home. I miss him and it makes me sad but he loves that yard anyway. My mom's last day at Reynolds is supposed to be tomorrow. Laid off after 25 years. That's crazy. ALSO... she's having carpel tunnel surgery soon so her life is changing dramatically. I wish she had someone to help take care of her and the farm. She certainly deserves it.

Makes me sad.

007

006

Okay here we go. I think I have strept again. Today is the 2nd day where my throat is terribly uncomfortable. Haley, at work was out with Mono and then came back for a week, only to leave with strept so.... bingo. I'm not going to work tonight so that I can so spend money at urgent care and whatever pharmacy I can get my drugs at. Lame. Nate will take good care of me though.

Today was the 2nd day of fall, I do believe. Autumn is officially my favorite time of year for the following reasons:

(none of these photos are mine,
in fact i don't know who they belong to.
found them on google so CREDIT to all of you.)

Also: 8 days until my two year anniversary with Nate. There's absolutely NOTHING better than this time of year, except spending this time of year with someone you are in love with.

005

I got all moved in this weekend! Whew. It was a lot of work in just a few days but I got a lot of help from Nate! I really couldn't have done it without him. My roommates are awesome. Lisa, Jen, and Currie... so maybe having neighbors my age will actually pay off as I'd like to have some friends in Raleigh if I'm ever going to make it out here in the big city. I get Sykes back soon! How exciting? I've missed him SO SO much but he's going to hate leaving the farm life to come back to the apartment. I really hope he readjusts well. School starts Thursday. I only go for an hour but I'm sort of excited to get back and get this last year DONE!

Patience.

004

Today at work Amanda and her client and I all talked about church. It really made me miss having a church that I enjoy going to. I would want Nate to go with me, and I'm not sure how that would go. I know he'd go, but I also know he might not accept the idea fully. He's not against God or anything, just doesn't really like the idea of church.

I've been talking to my friend Greg a lot lately. He lives in Australia and goes to/works at Hillsong. I miss him a lot. He really used to support me a lot and keep me in line at school at stuff. He comes home in March and has been offered a job in Raleigh but I know he'll go back to NSW. He's just an awesome person. I need more awesome people in my life. I haven't really surrounded myself with many people since I've lived in Raleigh so I totally have the chance to surround myself with the right people, right now.

I also want to read. I miss reading. I feel like reading would give me peace, along with good people. Money really stresses me out and I feel like since I've let money become a concern for me, it's only gotten worse.

I also want to start making listening to Hillsongs Podcasts and C3 Church's Podcasts regularly.